News of the Weird, or, It's Only My Second Post and I'm Already Talking About Farts

Here's a little gem that came over the wire a couple days ago.

It seems a woman farted on an airplane, then lit a match in an attempt to cover up her epic stank. Passengers thought something was burning, prompting an emergency landing. Talk about the ultimate backfire. This woman, being a lady, decided no one on the plane could possibly know that she, like every other mammal from time to time, passes a little gas. Or maybe a lot, in this case, but still, is she forgetting the power of denial? There's so many people packed together in a tight space on an airplane, how can they know for sure who done it? If you were to blame that little 8-year-old bastard behind you who keeps singing a song that apparently goes "AY-EYY-EYY-YAAA, EYY-EYY-YA-YA-YAAAAA!", who'd be the wiser? Hey, whoever smelt it dealt it.

Here's another good one.


Sounds like something off The Onion, at least the headline. By the way ... what happened to The Onion? There's been a shocking absence of funny lately.

And finally, some good news for my favorite American Indian tribe.

The Seminole Tribe of Florida is going to buy the Hard Rock Cafe business for $965 million. Well, most of it, not the one in Vegas. Apparently the Seminoles invented Indian gambling, and that's why they have the bling (or BLING-bling-bling-bling BLING-bling-bling-bling). That's right baby, the Unconquered People are still finding a way to make ends meet. What better way to make things even with the white man than by OWNING him. I can't think of a more worthy mascot for my former alma mater.